The Cheese Stick Phenomenon, Part 2

Dan was my college roommate’s father.  Dan was the sole reason mozzarella sticks blew the hell up in the mid 1990s.  We continue this story after Part 1 ...

Dan divulged he goofed off, above all, the years before his wholesaling pursuits.  Nearly one entire summer was spent trying to get the same girl to do it with him on a jet ski.  She never did.  She would do it everywhere else, but not ... on ... the jet ski.

A small, but important, break came around a year and a half after he got serious about packaged snacks.  He landed a trial placement with a small chain of grocery and beer houses he secured through his connections at the equipment plant.  A food product he developed would make it into the wild and be offered to the market for their judgement.  How exciting!

It was a sweet treat called Apple Puffs and they didn’t sell.

They didn’t sell at all.  When things don’t work smart people try to figure out why.  Unfortunately, cause and effect is ours as humans’ Achilles’ heel.  If anyone ever claimed the ability to predict what will sell Dan would claim right back they must not work in sales.  If they did work in sales Dan would verify them as being either the richest person on earth or the humblest one on the planet.

Dan tried to break apart the problem.  Apple Puffs tasted good.  The name was great.  The price was right.  The packaging was professional and unique.

The packaging was professional and unique.  Hmm …

... continued in Part 3

Feeling Good About Decisions

I do a lot of window shopping.  Most of it is done when I’m trying to think of creative ideas.  Or, lately, when I’m thinking over the decision to never make another webcomic again (at least for the time being).  I’ll get more into why someone would never make another webcomic again (at least for the time being) in a different blog.

Now, back to shopping.  Expensive things are a great option to window shop.  Even refrigerators get interesting once they’re priced into a certain range.  But, another option is to window shop items you already own or recently purchased.  Ones that you have no intention of replacing.

Doing this reminds me of the excellent buying decisions I’ve previously made and so acts as a small confidence booster.  This boost is helpful if you ever have an important decision to make.  You might not believe it, but confirming you know how to buy a new shampoo you wouldn’t trade out will make you happier and more comfortable when deciding to take a new job.  You get to ease yourself into the decision pool in a pleasant way.

We feel good about decisions when, get this, we feel good about them.  It doesn’t matter where the feeling comes from. 

The Danger of People Liking Your Hat

I’ve thrown my hat into all types of rings.  Usually the response is, “Hey, that hat’s fuckin stupid!  Get it out of here!”  

While other people I’ve seen have good success with what appears to be their first time throwing a hat into anything.  They give some little hat toss a go, and then fuck me, the hat is adored.  By many.  It is adored then even adorned, by many.  Many will display their adoration by buying and wearing another fucking hat decorated with a simplified picture of the original fucking hat embroidered above the bill.

Is this dickshit hat tosser just that dickshittin’ lucky?  Maybe.  I don’t know.  But please, you rest your own dickshitter easy.  That hot handed hat tosser will get their own.  Why?  Because having so many embrace a first attempt comes with a great danger.

It is a great, great danger.  The danger is you are now under the impression that you can make good decisions.  Even worse, you are under the impression that good decisions come to you naturally.  Think of one person you really know that naturally makes good decisions.

It’s not that what you stumbled into isn’t real.  You’ve made a true connection with all those hat shoppers.  They’re happy buyers now.  But what are your plans for the next year’s hat?  What exciting new head wear are you hiding up your saggy sleeves?  Don’t worry.  You naturally know what people like, right?  Use your protagonistically creative gumption and pull something out of your ass.

There is a chance the coin will land on tails this time.  If it does you’ll be confused.  You’ll be hurt and angry and likely to increase the pool of people you consider stupid.  Frustration can be your new aura.  

I believe the mistake is in thinking “you” is ever a relevant factor in the success.  To be clearer; if you cannot explain to someone else the relevant factors that made an attempt successful, in a way where another person besides you could make a similar attempt, then you don’t understand what happened.  At all.  Thinking you have a natural ability to make good decisions will be a ditch of hurt, eventually.